If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's get the cat blown out
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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