I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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