So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
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want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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