There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
