Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
