Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Randomize
