dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
