I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think my vagina is haunted
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
