i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
