Who did Billy Mays play for?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
