I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
