just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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