Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
