Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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