I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im six kinds of drunk right now
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
