The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
