did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize