I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
