sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
