He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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