Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
