I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
