Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
