Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize