Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
if only i could text you this smell
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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