If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
