How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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