i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
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I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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