so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
