you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
