Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
