Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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