oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
