A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm both gender and math confused
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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