no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize