Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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