dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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