my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
