Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
