the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
