We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I will pee on everything he values.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
