drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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