She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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