im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
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When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
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Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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