there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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