You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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