so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
