I wish I could punch you in the face.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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