If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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