evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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