i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
