thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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