Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
