Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
