i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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