walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i may or may not be watching the land before time
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
