Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
