I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
