listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
