if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
