it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize