Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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