I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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