this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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