O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
