Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
