apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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